Saturday, March 15, 2014

Socializing as a Couple




In transitioning from the single world to the couple's world, you'll notice plenty of changes in how you socialize. 

As a single person, you developed a strong sense of independence. You socialized at times that were convenient for you. You could be as spontaneous as you wanted about when, where and with whom you socialized. 

However, once you're half of a couple, it's necessary to communicate before you go out. After all, two people's needs must be considered. And what about the act of socializing once you get there? Do you behave as an individual or encourage your partner to join the conversation?

These guidelines will answer your questions and help you navigate the world of socializing as a couple:

1. Choosing who you socialize with is now a joint decision. Being considerate of your partner's wishes when you make plans is integral to a healthy, happy relationship. You might love your friend, Sue, and her husband, DaveĆ¼ but your partner may not prefer to see them every Friday night. 

* Once you're a part of a couple, decide together the activities you want to do.

2. Plans for socializing may require discussion and advance planning. The two of you will probably find it necessary to plan for when you want to go out. You've now likely got two work schedules to consider as well as two individuals' wants and needs.

3. Learn to converse together with others. You may have always been able to hold your own in conversations with others. Even so, now that you're a part of a couple, it's wise to listen more and ensure your partner is included in the conversation. 

4. Keep close contact with your partner during social events with your friends. Because your partner may just be getting to know your friends, help him be as comfortable as possible in their presence. 

5. Be considerate of your partner's feelings. When you're out socializing, your partner might not be enjoying the activity as much as you do. Therefore, "check in" with him as to whether he's feeling comfortable and is okay with staying out longer. 

* Remind yourself that being a part of a couple means you take into account your partner's feelings.

6. Agree to allow each other to choose. Your partner might not want to go to 4 of your friends' summer weddings this year, even though you do. 

* Make a pact with your partner, agreeing that you each have the choice whether to go to events the other person wants to attend. Also, agree that you'll honestly state your wishes to your partner when it's important to you that they attend.

* This way, you'll both have options about attending events you're not interested in and you'll know when your partner really wants you to go. 

Socializing as a couple is different than doing so as an individual. Taking care of both of your needs is crucial to the life and health of the relationship. You each have a right to be heard and to offer ideas about social activities to attend. Put the above suggestions into practice and the two of you will be successful at socializing as a couple in no time.

51 comments:

TerinAleah said...

This is great advice! :) Btw, you look beautiful in that photo!! :)

Cindy Batchelor said...

Its def a big change but fun at the same time! Thanks for sharing!

Celesteina Wong said...

Great post! Socializing as a couple is different from socializing when you're single. I have never thought about the difference.

bxcrochet said...

So much great information and tips. I love socializing with other couples.

Michelle F.

Gabby OBrien said...

Socializing with my boyfriend is so easy. We both have the same group of friends, and they are all couples too!

Loes said...

Never thought of it like this. But yes you are right! I think most people don't even notice the changes!

I don't like some of my boyfriends friends and he is always really cool about it!
We have the rule: Get there together, go home together. ie go home if one wants to go home

Jenny said...

I didn't have that... transition. xD I didn't socialize before and I don't socialize now. I've grown up being picked on and bullied almost every day by a lot of people (even family) so I try not to interact with humans outside my husband, son and playstation. :P but it is fun being with someone you can pester with your hobbies and interests. :)

Lisa said...

Love Your Way Of Thinking Such Great Tips That I Will Use With My Hubby Thank You!

Lisa said...

Love Your ay Of Thinking Will Use With My Hubby Thank You!

Samantha Angell said...

There are definitely differences in socializing as a single versus a couple. You highlighted a lot of the great ones, and ways to communicate better about socializing!

Liz Mays said...

There's a distinct difference once you're in a relationship. It can be quite the change to have to "check in" with the other person all the time about plans.

Heather Jones said...

I know when you first get together with someone socializing can be a bit awkward, especially if you don't know your spouse's friends and vice versa. You definitely have to find the right social balance.

Diana Villa said...

Such a beautiful couple! Thank you so much for the great and useful post :D

Aisha Kristine Chong said...

Thanks for the tips and advice - btw I like what you are wearing here.

Catherine Sargent said...

Thank you for the tips. Going from being single to a couple is a big change. It is fun to do things with other couples. Once a month my girlfriends and I have a girls day to catch up. Aside from that we usually do things as a couple.

Melissa said...

That's really good advice for those who have just gotten into a serious relationship. I love socializing with our friends as couples, that way no one is ever left out.

HilLesha said...

This is such wonderful advice, and so true! My husband and I've always been loners, and socializing as a couple was something we had to learn how to do.

mail4rosey said...

The transition of going from singles to couples is a challenge in some areas. Remembering you can't just say yes to a visit with someone w/o communicating with a spouse is one of them, for sure.

Annemarie Leblanc said...

This is very good information and it's true socializing changes when you're a couple.

Boonie said...

Honesty is very important in a relationship. Sometimes we can worry so much about hurting the feelings of people we care for that we keep our problems to ourselves, or pretend things don't really bother us when they do. It's also okay not to always socialize as a couple. Sometimes couples lose their individual identities and think that they are always a couple and everything has to be done together. I think healthy togetherness and alone time makes for a successful relationship, and it takes lots of communication and trial and error to make it work.

Cindy Gordon said...

What a great photo! Thanks for sharing!

Bonnie Gowen said...

This is some great info. My hubby and I don't get out much but will think of this next time.

FamiGami said...

When you break it down, I never realized how many steps there are in socializing as a couple! It all looks and sounds so complex when its really second nature.

Maria Christeena Dulce Ansis said...

I can totally relate. My husband and I are always on the lookout for potential couple friends!

Ann B said...

Congrats! You are a gorgeous bride. Being part of a couple is such a wonderful thing and I really miss it.

♥ Vanessa said...

This is all excellent advice. Make sure everyone is on the same page about activities and such.

Michi said...

Nice post. I agree with all the points. Good thing this is not my problem because my husband and I have the same group of friends. If ever we will attend an event and I don't know anyone except my husband, he stays with me.

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

After over 20 years of marriage I know we got different rythms and interests so we can socialize and chat with others, not checking with each other so often.

Ecuador InMyEyes said...

Congratulations! What a beautiful couple! And yes, being in a couple is very different from being single.

Cym Marzan said...

This is a great topic! Thanks for the reminder. Tapos it's even trickier with kids in tow, kasi when there's no yaya, it's hard to socialize while chasing the kids. Sometimes one of you will end up as the yaya.

Razel Miranda said...

I really can relate about the article specially when we are going out and meeting his friends. We have 8 years gap so sometimes I really cannot relate on what his friends are talking about but thanks to this advice I can surely apply all of these steps. :)

Rona Cuera-O said...

thanks for the tip :) we do love socializing with others :)

Kath Rivera said...

Great info, I'm married for 5 years and I always want to bring my shy hubby to events. He's sociable but he's not into events that I always attend.

Kim Reyes said...

Thankfully, my husband gets along really well with my friends so we don't have a problem with that. What we do have a problem with is two of his friends who seem to hate the fact that he married me. As in, in my face they'd say that they like this other girl better. Luckily for me, my husband understands why I don't want to hang out with those two. And he sort of stopped hanging out with them since they're very "healthy" for our marriage.

Emiliana Sison said...

These are great tips in integrating other people into the couple's social lives.

Petite Momma said...

I agree with you. Now that we're a couple, it's automatic to think first of your partner before saying yes to invitations. :)

Aine Garcia said...

Thanks for the tips! Socializing is really different when your single compared when you already have a partner. You always consider your him in everything. ;)

Paulline Joy Flores said...

Thanks for the tips. It's inevitable that you as a couple gravitates to another couple. Eventually, you have same sets of friends already.

Elizabeth Copeland said...

Our friends have changed over the years. As we've "gotten responsible" many of our less responsible and more freewheeling friends have drifted away. I think a big part of it is helping your spouse through the transitions.

pahmee said...

Many times, we actually just say yes to invitations and just inform the other about the event we will be going to. However, both the partner and I are introverts and too much socialization, especially if we are the ones hosting, can really exhaust us. Sometimes we just automatically agree not to go to the event to make our lives easier. Hahaha!

Janice Lim said...

My hubby is not much of a conversationalist because he's really a quiet person. So whenever we're socializing, he usually lets me take the lead. Then I just encourage him to participate in the conversation. It's not as hard for him when we're with close friends though.

TweenselMom said...

This topic is interesting. Sometimes it's difficult to socialize as a couple when you have different passions. However, I think for me, a couple had been a couple because they have this thing in common. That common interest should be cultivated.

The Clueless Mom said...

I'm lucky enough to have a husband who gets along with people easily. However, I do check with him from time to time to see if he's okay or if he feels left out when we're out with friends. He, too, considers how I feel when we're out with his friends. He's never critical with people I'm friends with, but he does drop hints from time to time when he feels that someone looks like "bad news".

Pier Angeli B. Ang Sen said...

Right, you have to choose the parties you are going to attend. And also before going to a friend's party , you give your partner a heads up, on the character and personality of the friend whose party you are going to attend... para your partner would know what to say or talk about.

Patty | MrsC said...

My husband and I have been together since we were teenagers, so we're lucky that our circle of friends is pretty much the same. He and I both make new friends, though, that the other doesn't particularly like much, so we make it a point to inform the other if the "undesirables" are gonna be around at a party or an event. :) We make sure to have each others' backs.

Nathalie said...

This is helpful, but not quite applicable to us at the moment since we're at opposite sides of the globe. Lol. But I will keep these in mind for when we're already together. ^_^

Mommy Jen said...

I liked those advice. Tamang tama at may pinagdadaanan ako about sa relationships. This is a big help. =)

Mommy Pehpot said...

Great tips Grace! Being considerate of your partner's feelings is the key to couple socializing :)

Mommy Lally said...

These are great advises. I feel grateful because my husband gets along well with my friends and I get along well with his friends as well. Ang hirap kayang maging out of place. hehe

M said...

This has been very helpful, beautiful people!

Amanda Kee said...

These are some great tips!! You really have to learn to work together when it comes to going out with friends and such. It can be complicated at times and if you communicate it can be so much easier. Thank you so much for sharing!!